Do you remember how you were raised with money? Was money spoken of in a positive way, or were you always hearing that there wasn’t enough? Did you get an allowance, and did people tell you what to do with it?

Believe it or not, our answers to these questions and more determine our future relationship with money. Our current views, beliefs, and attitudes about money didn’t just pop up when we turned eighteen. In reality they were formed over many years. 

We need to realize the impact that our parents and others around us had on forming our future beliefs regarding money. Healthy money behaviors teach and model strong, positive money behaviors and values. On the contrary, however, being raised with bad money behaviors may have lead to the thinking that there is never enough money to go around and that you will always struggle with money.
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f you were reared in a family where your parents fought about money regularly, or if they constantly reminded you that there wasn’t enough money, then there is a good possibility that you may not be able to save money or see that there is plenty of money for everyone. A negative view or belief about money could seriously hold you back from realizing a future filled with financial freedom and wealth creation. Your ability simply to save your money could be blocked due to beliefs created in childhood, beliefs that may not be accurate and may even be causing you fear. 

Fear can be like weeds growing in a garden. Left to grow, weeds will overtake the garden in no time. When we don’t address the fear in our lives surrounding how we relate to money, then we allow that fear to control our thinking, our habits, and our future relationship with wealth. Perhaps you fear being able to hold onto money, or maybe you think there just isn’t enough money, so you hoard what little you have. Whichever may be the case, only by realizing your misguided beliefs and fears and getting to the root of the issue will you be able to begin to heal and allow yourself to start having a more positive view of money.  

Take a step back in time and reflect on how you and your household viewed money. You may realize that some of your fears about money or about accumulating wealth stem from your childhood and may not even be accurate. Ask yourself things like, “What stories were told in my family about money?” “Were these stories told in a positive or negative light?” “What messages did my mother/father/both give me about money?” “When I was growing up, did I ever make a vow about money?” “What gave rise to those vows?” “What feelings was I experiencing at the time I made my vow, and how long did I repeat that vow?” There are many, many questions we can ask ourselves about our history with money. Simply go to the Internet and research the words “money beliefs,” and you will easily find many articles surrounding how we form our beliefs and attitudes about money and also how to start the healing process. 

Always remind yourself that money itself is neither good nor bad; rather it is the use of money and the attitude and beliefs about money that can be a problem. There is plenty of money to go around in this country and the world, but you will first need to start reprogramming yourself about long-held negative beliefs about money. Tell yourself things like “I have the ability to earn an abundance of money; I can be rich and good at the same time; I deserve to have the financial life I desire; or I can manage my money, be generous, and still have lots of money left over.¹ 

Another positive change would be that when faced with a financial barrier, ask, “How or what can I do to afford this,” rather than automatically saying “I can’t afford this,” because your brain will begin helping you formulate a plan instead of accepting that you can’t afford it 

Our habits in thinking and doing are formed throughout our lives, and only by making a conscious effort to change will change begin to take place. If you keep doing what you’re doing or thinking how you’re thinking, you will keep getting what you’re getting. “The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting the result to be different.” You must start somewhere, so start with your money memories, to help understand why you are the way you are about money.

For more information read Suze Orman’s book, The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom. Practical & Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying, Step 1 is Seeing How The Past Holds The Key To Your Financial Future, an excellent read for someone seriously looking to put his or her “financial house” in order.

For more information contact Andrea Hardy at the CRT H.O.M.E. (Home Ownership Made Easy) Center. She can be reached at (860) 560-4210 or hardya@crtct.org.

Resources:
1 http://blog.worldvillage.com/business/smart_money_beliefs.html